Preparing for the First Week Back to School: Supporting Our Neurodivergent Kids Through Change

Ahhh, the first week back at school.

The alarms are back on. Shoes have mysteriously disappeared. Someone is crying at 6:30am (sometimes the child, sometimes the parent). And suddenly we’re all expected to transition from holiday flexibility to structured days like nothing happened.

For our neurodivergent kids, this shift can feel massive. And I want to say this right at the start: if your child struggles during the first week back, that doesn’t mean they’re not ready, not coping, or “regressing.” It means their nervous system is doing some heavy lifting.

As a paediatric speech therapist working closely with neurodivergent children and families, I see this every single year. Increased meltdowns, shutdowns, clinginess, less talking, more big feelings — often right when everyone expects kids to just slot back in.

So let’s change the goal of the first week back.

Instead of “getting back into routine,” let’s aim for helping our children feel safe enough to engage again.

Because regulation always comes before communication — no matter how motivated, clever, or capable a child is.

Why the First Week Back Feels Like So Much

Returning to school isn’t one change — it’s lots of changes stacked on top of each other:

• Earlier mornings (why are they so early?)

• New teachers, classrooms, or expectations

• Noise, movement, transitions, social rules

• More listening, talking, and sitting still

• Less downtime and flexibility

  
  

For neurodivergent children — including autistic children, children with ADHD, language differences, sensory processing differences, or anxiety — this can overload their system very quickly.

When regulation dips, we often see:

• Less talking or more scripting

• Bigger emotional reactions

• “Refusal” that is actually overwhelm

• Difficulty following instructions

• Behaviour that suddenly feels confusing or intense

This isn’t bad behaviour.It’s communication.

Lower the Bar (Yes, Really)

One of the kindest things we can do in that first week is lower expectations — especially at home.

That doesn’t mean there’s no structure or boundaries. It means we build in extra breathing room.

Some realistic, parent-approved ideas:

• Keep afternoons and evenings low-demand

• Delay extra activities if possible

• Stick to familiar meals (this is not the week to introduce quinoa)

• Allow extra time in the mornings so no one has to put shoes on while crying

  
  

If your child comes home exhausted, dysregulated, or melts down over something tiny like the wrong cup — that’s not them being dramatic. That’s a nervous system that’s been “on” all day and finally feels safe enough to let go.

Supporting Communication (Without Turning It Into an Interrogation)

It’s very common for communication to dip when children are overwhelmed.

You might notice:

• Short answers or silence

• More pointing or gestures

• Increased scripting

• Less interest in chatting about their day

  
  

Instead of asking twenty questions the moment they walk through the door (tempting, I know), try:

• Commenting instead of questioning (“That was a long day” works wonders)

• Offering choices (“Do you want quiet time or snack first?”)

• Using visuals or routines to reduce language load

• Accepting all forms of communication — including AAC, gestures, and behaviour

And if your child uses AAC or visual supports, keep them accessible at home. Transitions are not the time to remove supports — they’re when children need them most.

Prepare, Don’t Surprise

Predictability is incredibly regulating.

Talking through the day ahead can really help:

• What time they’ll wake up

• Who they’ll see

• What stays the same

• What might be different

  
  

This doesn’t need to be detailed or dramatic. Simple, honest previews are far more helpful than “You’ll be fine.”

And if your child asks the same question seventeen times? That’s not them being difficult — that’s reassurance-seeking. Repetition is calming.

After-School Decompression Is Essential (Not a Luxury)

Many neurodivergent children hold it together beautifully at school… and then unravel at home.

That’s not manipulation.That’s trust.

After school, prioritise:

• Quiet time

• Movement

• Sensory input that works for your child

• Screens if they help regulate (yes, that’s allowed — and no, you’re not failing)

Connection comes before correction. Always.

A regulated child is far more available for communication, learning, and relationships.

A Gentle Reminder for Parents

If this week feels messy, emotional, or nothing like the perfectly curated “back to school” posts online — you are not alone, and you are not doing it wrong.

Supporting a neurodivergent child through transitions takes flexibility, humour, patience, and a willingness to go slower than the world expects.

Some days, success looks like:

• Everyone got out the door

• No one cried in the car (or at least not for long)

• You all made it home again

And honestly? That’s enough.

If you’re worried about regulation or communication, or things feel harder instead of easier, reach out for support. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

The first week back isn’t about performance.It’s about safety, connection, and settling back into the world — together.

-Keely-Shaye Boon